The Anphortas album ‘Some kind of emptiness’ is on CD, Bandcamp, Soundcloud, Spotify and most streaming services. The album includes 12 songs including the three pre-released songs of ‘I want to say I love you’, ‘Because I’ve been here before’ and ‘Sing the blues’. The CD version, which comes with a 12 page booklet of lyrics and pictures, can be bought on the Anphortas Bandcamp page.
Lyrics and Song notes and tabs
I want to say I love you
I want to say I love you
A thousand times
I want to say I love you
In a voice like thunder
I need to say I love you
In a touch
Tingling and tender
But I am such a fool
I am such a fool
I am such a fool
I want to say I love you
You are asleep and far away
I want to say I love you
From the deepest depths of me
To the deepest depths of you
With silence in between
And I am just a fool
I am such a fool
I am such a fool
I want to say I love you
In a voice unheard
With lips unseen
I want to say I love you
To every morsel of your being
I want to say I love you
Till it’s printed on your heart
Please let me say I love you
And say we’ll never part
I know I’m just a fool
I am just a fool
I am just a fool
I am just a fool
Just a traveller
I am just a traveller
Traveller in this world
You are just a dreamer
Dream your life away
Dream your life away
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Dream your life away
We are both forsaken
Never to be free
The journey never ending
Dreams like waves upon the sea
Waves upon the sea
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Waves upon the sea
Walking in this barren land
My feet sliding in the sand
You are dancing in your silver slippers
Though your prince is not at hand
Your prince is not at hand
Your prince is not at hand
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Your prince is not at hand
I am just a traveller
Traveller in this world
You are just a dreamer
Dream your life away
Dream your life away
Dream your life away
Dream your life away
Dream your life away
Because I’ve been here before
It was a quiet afternoon
I watched you change your silky blouse
Your skin was soft and pale
As we talked about the evening
It was then that I was feeling distant
Because I’ve been here before
I’ve been here before
All of this will be destroyed
The worms of jealousy are feeding now
And they will have their feast
They will have their feast
They will have their feast
Down at the fun fair
We twisted and we turned till we were dizzy
We queued up for the candy floss
And laughed at all the games
Back through the crowds the sunset glinting in your eyes
I had to turn my gaze
Because I’ve been here before
I’ve been here before
All of this will be destroyed
The worms of jealousy are feeding now
And they will have their feast
They will have their feast
They will have their feast
We came in from the rain
Umbrellas in the corner
The scent of your damp hair
Lingers on my shoulder
We went into the kitchen and made a lemon tea
The taste of it………….too bitter now
Since I’ve been here before
I’ve been here before
All of this will be destroyed
The worms of jealousy are feeding now
And they will have their feast
They will have their feast
They will have their feast
It was a quiet afternoon
I watched you change your silky blouse
And I’ve been here before
Maybe non of this is true
If it’s all the same to you
I’ll wait here for a while
I’ll wait here for a while
From the night into the day
From the day into the night
From the river to the sea
Sea dissolves into the clouds
And so it goes
And so it goes
You said you loved me
And all of this is true
You said you loved me
But non of this is true
And all of this is true
And maybe only some of this s true
I think that maybe
Maybe
Maybe
Non of this is true
You said you loved me
And all of this is true
You said you loved me
But non of this is true
And all of this is true
And maybe only some of this s true
I think that maybe
Maybe
Maybe
Non of this is true
Maybe non of this is true
Blind as the river
I stumble through my days
And wander through my years
As blind as the river
As hungry as a beggar
And silent as the lizard
That slithers in the desert
I want to see
I want to see again
I want to hear the voice
The voice
The voice
That left me in this dark
From which I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
The rumble of the train
That passes by the window
A million destinations
As again I press my thimble
To make the stitch in time
To save me from
This decay and crumble
I want to see
I want to see again
I want to hear the voice
The voice
The voice
That left me in this dark
From which I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
A world of greedy tigers
Encircle my horizons
My lover’s sweet embraces
Tie me in twists and tangles
Abandoned in this night
From which I see no dawn
I want to see
I want to see again
I want to hear the voice
The voice
The voice
That left me in this dark
From which I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
That left me in this dark
From which I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
I cannot rise
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Why won’t you sing the blues
Sing the blues
Like you used to do
When our love was new
And I was cruel to you
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Please sing the blues
Sing the blues
My anguished heart to sooth
My rough edges smooth
And I’ll be cruel to you
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
Sing the blues
You have to sing the blues
Sing the blues
You’re like a child at school
That needs the teachers rule
Sing you little fool
And I’ll keep hurting you
Lingering on
Long hairs on my pillow
The scent of you still there
Lipstick in my bathroom
Letters in my letterbox
Not made out to me
I know you’re gone
But you’re lingering on
I know you’re gone
I know you’re gone
But you’re lingering on
You’re lingering on
Hey! I’m not a bad man
I just let it slip for just a while
You know I’m not a bad man
I just let it slip for just a while
Just a little while
I just let it slip
Just for a little while
Some kinds of emptiness
Just fill you up inside
Do you hear the rain?
Do you hear
Do you hear
The rain
Do you hear
Do you hear
The rain
I hear the rain
I hear the rain
Do you hear
The rain
Do you hear
Oh, oh, oh
I hear the rain
Oh, the rain
Oh
The rain drowns
I hear the rain
Do you hear the rain
Oh, oh, oh
Do you hear the rain
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I hear the rain
I will see you nevermore
I watched you sail from the shore
Your father closed the store
Your brother……..such a bore
I know I’ll see you nevermore
I watched you sail away
And I know, I know, I know
I will see you nevermore
Why don’t you stay
Why did I let you sail away
I will see you nevermore
You say you’ll write to me every day
But I know, I know, I know
I’ll see you nevermore
Nevermore
Your missionary zeal
Your desire to heal
The passion that you feel
And I’m too dull and blind
So I am left behind
And I know, I know, I know
I will see you nevermore
Why don’t you stay
Why did I let you sail away
I will see you nevermore
You say you’ll write to me every day
But I know, I know, I know
I’ll see you nevermore
Nevermore
In our hearts we both know that this is true
The savages do not need you
But I do, I do, I do
Do you not need me too
Some day perhaps you’ll find you do
And I know, I know, I know
I will see you nevermore
Why don’t you stay
Why did I let you sail away
I will see you nevermore
You say you’ll write to me every day
But I know, I know, I know
I’ll see you nevermore
Nevermore
I’ll see you nevermore
Nevermore
Nevermore
I’ll see you nevermore
Nevermore
The majesty, the mystery
You stood there in the clearing, to catch the voice of Pachacamac
You battled darkness with the good book
Your sword and pistol close at hand
You journeyed down the river through the jungle
But your men now have all gone to Chichen Itza
The majesty, the mystery has stolen their hearts
Stolen their hearts
And stolen them away
Stolen them away
Stolen them away
You stood back to back on the slopes of Iztaccíhuatl
And by the evening, some of you had fallen
Yet you made the river
You returned at dead of night
To take the blood of Auqui Maita
And back across the mountains to San Baltazar
But your men now have all gone to Chichen Itza
The majesty, the mystery has stolen their hearts
Stolen their hearts
And stolen them away
Stolen them away
Stolen them away
The senorita from her slumbers now is waking
The sunrise through the tree tops now breaking
You stride across the courtyard
All the horses are waiting
But your men now have all gone to Chichen Itza
The majesty, the mystery has stolen their hearts
Stolen their hearts
And stolen them away
Stolen them away
Stolen them away
Stolen them away
Stolen them away
White flamingo
You ride in white flamingo
And you sail across the sky
One of a thousand heroes
Passing on by…………….Passing on by
It’s daylight raid on the Rhineland
And you hope to see the night
Daylight raid on the Rhineland
You hope to see the night
You hope to see the night
You hope to see the night
Your headset speaks of angels
Bandits 8 o’clock
flying on high…………….flying on high
The city burns beneath you
Smoke turns the blue sky black
The escort peals away, on through the bursting flack
They dance like butterflies in May……………..butterflies in May
It’s daylight raid on the Rhineland
And you hope to see the night
Daylight raid on the Rhineland
You hope to see the night
You hope to see the night
You hope to see the night
Cartridge cases bursting
As the world around you burns
You try to make the exit as the big bird slowly turns
Cold fresh air and burning rubber
Ed’s screaming for his mother
One of a thousand heroes
Passing on by……………..passing on by
It’s daylight raid on the Rhineland
And you hope to see the night
Daylight raid on the Rhineland
Don’t think you’ll see the night
Don’t think you’ll see the night
Don’t think you’ll see the night
Don’t think you’ll see the night
I hear the sound
I hear the sound of screaming children
Ripping through my ruined mind
While visions of some painful torture
Torment me from deep inside
Life is like an open wound
Cut deep into my empty soul
That bleeds the blood of all the ages
Thick upon a thirsty soil
As flicker of unceasing flame
Each passion, pleasure and each pain
In quick succession wax and wane
And franticly, I fly with each
Unknowing of for what I reach
And all the while, deeper down inside
Within a deeper silence hide
Sweet voices whisper commentary
Upon all that is and will be
Upon all that can and could be
Upon the twists of destiny
Upon the rhythms of eternity
Upon the kings of enmity
Upon the sadness that engulfs me
Upon the flames of infamy
Upon the wings of fantasy
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Upon the knowing that eludes me
Notes on songs and tabs
I want to say I love you
Some of the guitar stuff I’d recorded on my looper pedal and uploaded to my phone came up on shuffle when I was in a supermarket , though I’d forgotten all about it. I thought, “oh! I could put a lyric to this and do something”. When I looked through all my lyrics, the only one that seemed to fit was this one. Originally I didn’t really want to use this one, it didn’t seem to have any edginess or dark undertone I like. The original lyric was more like a long form poem that I’d written when my girlfriend was away, I split it into three verses and added the “I am just a fool, I am such a fool” chorus endings to each verse. I quite like this song now.
Just a traveller
Early one morning, I was on my own in a small echoey sports hall, I felt the urge to sing and this is what came out. As I strolled into town later that day, the rest of the song fell into place.
Because I’ve been here before
I had this vision of the soft light and quietness of the moment set out in the first two lines “It was a quiet afternoon, I watched you change you silky blouse”. As I went about my days, what this image was all about grew and became a song. The song references jealousy, but it isn’t really about jealousy, it could be anything that incrementally corrodes a relationship.
Maybe non of this is true
Even when you are in love, you live with a miasma of uncertainty. You need so much for your love to be returned, but dare you trust what you are told and what your eyes see with so much at stake.
Blind as the river
I got home tired and late on night, picked up my guitar and played Am Dm chords and this song came to me straight away. In 20 minutes I had the first two verses and had recorded them on a small recorder I use. I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out I had the third verse, then did a recording of the whole song. That all took about 30 minutes. The song expresses pretty much how I felt about life in that moment and apart from adding drums, bass and lead the song is pretty much the same as that first version.
Sing the blues
Sitting late one night playing guitar in the kitchen, I’d come up with this chord sequence and then these lyrics started to come. When the lines “when our love was new, and I was cruel to you” came and then the rest, I was like “whoa! Where the fuck did that come from!” Although the song looks at the world and a relationship through the eyes of an abusive person, I think you have to let your imagination go to these places in order to understand the world around you.
Lingering on
This song and variations of it have been with me a long, long, long time. Like some of the others, the instrumental parts were recorded, very late at night on my looper, partly forgotten about, rediscovered and then the vocal added.
Do you hear the rain?
The first thing I’d recorded that’s on here. I’d been playing around with samples, generative music programs and stuff and came up with this, originally as just an instrumental. Then, thought to myself “I know! I could add a vocal!”, I just plugged a mic directly into the computer pressed record and sang. I had no idea what I was going to sing. It’s probably a bit stupid and far too long, but I sort of like it, so it’s on the album.
I will see you never more
I was playing my guitar doing an alternating bass thing, and then started singing this lyric. At that time, I didn’t think the lyric was a thing, it didn’t fit the rhythm of the guitar so it was useful in forcing me to concentrate on the guitar. After a bit, I thought maybe the lyric was a thing so I recorded it. Why on earth this subject matter came my way I have no idea at all.
The majesty, the mystery
A ‘Heart of darkness’ story. One of my favourite films is Apocalypse now and that whole thing of the fragmenting and disintegrating veneer of civilisation that lets a primitive darkness emerge is I think increasingly one of the existential fears of our times.
White flamingo
Another song that has been with me many, many, many years. In moments when I felt like singing, this would be one I might sing to myself. I don’t know how it came to me. My grandfather was in the British army throughout the second world war and we spoke often about that, talking directly with someone who was involved you get a perspective that you never, ever get from somewhere else. Even though my grandfather was a soldier (though he did tell me he had wanted to be a rear tail gunner but hadn’t been selected), I think of him with this song.
I hear the sound
This song has been with me for ever and ever, any time I’d be going about my business I might have been singing this song to myself. The strange thing is, after recording it, that impulse isn’t there. I don’t mind that, because it’s sort of more real now and perhaps there’s space for other songs.
Anphortas 